Crafty Dayeseye

How to Delight Me | Just Be YOU!

Where have I been?

 

I have been asking myself the very same thing these few weeks.

I’m here.

I’m there.

But really, I’m not sure. 

 

This shit is getting real.

2013 is a huge year for me.  I am a college graduate. Like I’ve said before, I never thought I would actually finish college.  I always dreamed of it, and made a few attempts, but this time it is real.  It is real because of the amazing support I have had from family and friends through each step of the way.

From my husband who is a rock, supportive to the core, although he is worried/cautious about the loans we have taken to finance this adventure, more important to him is my happiness, and how this will benefit both of us in the near future.

My parents who just kept telling me “I knew you could do it.”  “You are NOT too old”  “We are so proud of you.  My dad talking me off the ledge when I felt like I was in over my head, had I made the right decision, was I going to be accepted into the program; all of the could I? should I? and would I?’s of my brain.  My mom who kept me focused on the prize, even when I was sure I had failed my first class, or even gotten below a B in anything, she was right…I got a B+.

My husband’s family who helped keet me motivated, donated to my textbook fund, and were there just for a hug when I needed one. 

My three younger sisters who constantly supported my decision, encouraged, and were some of my biggest cheerleaders throughout this journey.

Countless friends.  Oh man, my friends.  I am lucky to have the people in my life that I do.  I don’t have hundreds of friends, but the ones I do have are really more like family.  I’m Aunt Jenn to their kids, we go on vacations together, they visit from far and wide, we talk, sometimes we don’t talk often enough… we drink coffee, we laugh out loud, we cry, but the support and encouragement from each of them has been a huge motivator for me. 

I’ve never heard so many people tell me they are proud of me, and that I have inspired them to do something big, something different.  WOW.  You guys inspire ME!

To say I am humbled beyond belief from the support and kind words would be a huge understatement.

Thank you.

P.S. I promise to stop the graduation talk...for a bit, before you know it I won't be able to shut up about grad school!!!

 

 

How to Delight Me | Hospital Talk

The other day I had to have a procedure done at the hospital, nothing big, but it required anesthesia so someone had to drive me there and back.

Enter my husband. Duh.

After the procedure in the PACU he was there and we were joking around after I woke up.  When I'm nervous I talk EVEN MORE than I usually do, and M- of course was taking good care of me.  While were talking to the nurse she said

Nurse:  "Do you guys work together?"

We both looked at each other an laughed.

Me:  "No, why?"

Nurse:  "Oh, you just act like you are together 24-7."

Me:  "Well, not 24-7 but a lot.  Whys is that surprising?"

Nurse:  "Oh, you guys are just having so much fun together, laughing and talking!"

Me:  "Well, we ARE married.  That must be it"

Nurse:  laughing hysterically, "That usually means the exact opposite, you have no idea."

 

Kinda made M- and I feel good.  We do have our moments, but most of those a good ones.

Thankful for my honey.

Home

Based on a post I did about Harper's passing sprung a story for my digital storytelling blog, and this little video...

 

Right Now | Twenty- Thirteen!

 

"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something.

So that's my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make New Mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you're scared of doing, Do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever."

                                            ~Neil Gaiman

Sending love, light, contentment, and new mistakes your way, today and every day!  Happy New Year!

XOXOXO -Me

Misc. Thoughts 2012 Style | #3

 

What's up you say?

• I thought I only had one class to take this fall, but stuff changed. I withdrew from the Art History course in the spring, and am taking that right now.  That leaves me with 1 Art History class left to take and while what I needed wasn't offered at a good time this semester-- I will be taking it in the spring.  No big deal, everything s still on time for September!  YAY!

 

• M- and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary.  Go US!  okay, Go HIM!  he puts up with my wack-a-doo brain every day!  L.O.V.E.

• I had a tonsilectomy.  If you are over the age 16 and the Doctor suggests this procedure...RUN.  RUN FAST.  RUN VERY VERY FAST.

• I burned a bridge.  Not on purpose, just acted like a jerk.

•  I spent three days with my favorite 4 year old, just the two of us.  No sisters, brothers or Mommys and Daddys...just Aunt Fer-Fer and Belle.  Sad part was I was sick the whole time!  We stayed in, painted, colored, napped, watched movies, snuggled, and cooked.  Good thing the weather wasn't awesome, or she would have really been missing out!  Belle made sure I stayed hydrated and ate healthy the whole time.  Bowl after bowl of Bing Cherries because "Cherries are juicy, they make you feel good!"  Hey, it worked.  I got better.

• I spent three days with my favorite 5 year old, just the two of us.  No sisters, brothers or Mommys and Daddys...just Aunt Fer-Fer and Mia.  We crafted our A--es off!  If someone is bound to be the next Martha Stewart, it's this little lady.  Glitter, glue, paint, fabric, flowers!  We had fun, even did a photo scavenger hunt in a few antique stores...that turned into DRESS UP with every hat, fur stole and pair of sunglasses the place had, and that's a LOT!  We had fun, made gifts for all the siblings and cuddled.

• We adopted a new (3rd) pup!  Well, and eight year old pup.  Love her!!  M ore about her later!

• Two profoundly sad things have happened, and we are healing as a family right now.  Maybe I can share more later.

• I am so excited about NEXT tuesday!!!  Get out and vote, and don't forget this isn't just about the national election THINK LOCAL TOO!

 

 

Trying Every Day

                                                                                                                                   -RWE

Dear Self,

Sometimes I feel like the 13 year old girl I was a hundred years ago. 

Really, how am I different than that gal?  Am I different?  I'm still funny, bossy, articulate, determined, and sometimes a brat.  But, what has changed?

I looked at myself in the mirror a couple of weeks ago and said to my self -out loud- You are a grown-up!  You are a grown-up?  Really?  Am I really? 

Sometimes I look at people, talk to customers, friends, classmates, and even strangers and think, man have they got it all put together; I can't wait until I'm all grown up too.

WAIT.

According to some, I am.

When I was a kid, it was obvious who the grown-ups were. The grown-ups got to do fun stuff all the time, go to the grocery store, buy new clothes, wash the car.  Grown-ups got to sit at the BIG table at Christmas, no longer relegated to the baby table. 

Grown-ups have jobs, they pay bills, they are always busy.  Grown-ups got to stay up late and watch TV, dance, and bang around pots and pans( that's what I thought my parents did at night after we went to bed, turns out they were just doing the dishes), they got to pick what was for dinner every night.  Sometimes they would be pre-occupied with something "you don't need to worry about it".  Lots of days they are grumpy, tired, and want things done the way they like it.

Grown-ups, fall in love and get married.  Grown-ups can eat cake for breakfast, drive cars, and are made of money.

Well, here is the confusing part.  I do those things (well, except for the made of money bit), but nothing feels different.

How did that happen?  Why do I still feel like I am playing house, still feel like I am working for more, longing for more "adult" responsibilities?

What is this elusive MORE? The more I'm talking about isn't a cooler car, a bigger house, or trendier clothes.  It is doing more, becoming more, a constant nagging thought.   

Sometimes I am paralyzed by the thought of becoming more.  I know there is room for improvement, but somehow I am held back by what I used to know, who I used to be. I think I probably waste a lot of time being upset because I haven't DONE more. 

I am convinced at times that my artwork isn't up to snuff, that I will not be able to help anyone as an art therapist in the future, that I am too old to be doing any of this; I continually think about how far behind I feel when I look at other thirty-somethings.

My dad and I have talked about this at length, and he always seems to be able to talk me off the ledge, but lately I am so wrapped up in this!  I am frustrating myself.

 

Right about now I am putting on my big girl pants, and am going to do something about this!

Here's to :

Less wasted time

More doing, less planning.

More time and attention for me, less for folks who will just do what they do...no matter what I do.

 

Love,

    Me.

 

How to Delight Me | Sweet Dreams

Come sit next to me.

Come sit next to me in bed.

Come sit next to me in bed at 7:45 p.m.

Come sit next to me in bed at 7:45 p.m. when I have to go to sleep for work.

Come sit next to me in bed at 7:45 p.m. when I have to go to sleep for work and not go back to your chair.

Come sit next to me in bed at 7:45 p.m. when I have to go to sleep for work and not go back to your chair to watch your favorite show.

Come sit next to me in bed at 7:45 p.m. when I have to go to sleep for work and not go back to your chair to watch your favorite show until I have fallen asleep.

L.O.V. E.

Misc. Thoughts 2012 Style | #2

So, what's up you say?

• School is going really well this semester, my painting class is intense, painting, papers and presentations as well as critiques.  Here's a sample of the painting I've been working on:

• My husband is still the greatest, we had a really laid back Valentines day just enjoying each others company and some Frans Salted caramels. (If you haven't had these-- go now, get some)  We have a bunch left, and I'll try to share, I promise.

 

• I talked to my 4 year old neice the other day and I was asking her about school, I asked her about her best friend

ME: Who is your best friend at school?

PRINCESS CINDERELLA MERMAID JEWELRY (that's what she calls herself): kaylee is my best friend.

ME:  Oh that's great, it's so nice to have friends isn't it?

PRINCESS CINDERELLA MERMAID JEWELRY: yeah, but really Aunt Fer-Fer, they are ALL my best friends...

Gotta love the heart on that little lady, she loves everyone, everyone.  It is so refreshing, kind, and simple.

 

 

• I need to post pictures of the bathroom remodel!  Wait, I should call it "The Worlds SLOWEST bathroom remodel!"  Is there a prize for that?  If so, sign me up.

• Anxiously awaiting the arrival of a beautiful little boy from Korea for my friends the C- Family.  I wrote about them here, and you can find out more on their family blog "Working Toward a Baseball Team"

• I'm doing a GIVEAWAY on Art Every Day, sign up for your chance to win!

 

• This year I am trying to look beyond myself, do more and become more, I hope that I am able to find what is beyond me.

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

The One With the Shark

My husband and I went snorkeling on our honeymoon.

Sounds perfectly wonderful right?

Wrong.

M- and I headed out into the water around a peninsula away from the shore about 3/4 of a mile, and the comfort of the resort we where we were staying.  The afternoon was drenched in sun, the sugar colored sand glistening, and the water so clear you could see about 50 feet away from you, ahhh-mazing.

While we were out there admiring the flora and fauna of the sea, I saw something out of the corner of my eye.  A dark shadow.

Immediately my brain went to the most deep, dark place a mind can go when swimming in open water.  SHARK.

Seriously, a shark, right there next to us...or so I thought.

I have never gotten to shore as fast as I did that day.  Frantic, arms flailing, water splashing, legs akimbo, I was mustering up any and all recollection I had of being on the swim team when I was ten.  I kept thinking "BUTTERFLY, BACK-STROKE, BREAST-STROKE, SHARK!!!!"

In the background of my own internal crazed screaming I kept hearing, "Jennifer, J-, Jeennn, What the, JJJEEEEENNNNN!!!!"

When I got close enough to the shore that I could stand up and run, I did, and I ran fast, yelling "'NO! there's a shark!!!!!"

Thank goodness it was the off season and there was were only a few other couples staying at the resort, and if they heard me screaming about the shark, they just kept it between themselves.  "THERE'S ALWAYS ONE MAUDE, CRAZY SHARK SCREAMING FOOL!"

During the screaming on the beach I began to get worried.  Where was M-?????  I had booked so quickly, I forgot to warn him. 

He had been eaten, or at least been bitten by the shark.  I just knew it.

Panic, well more panic, the heart stopping, sound numbing panic that set in was overwhelming.  I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO TELL MY NEW IN-LAWS THEIR SON HAD BEEN EATEN BY A SHARK.

All of a sudden someone emerged from the water.

It was M-.

I was so happy, like jumping up and down happy. 

Then I remembered the shark.  How had M- evaded the shark?

M-:  What shark?

me:  The one I saw that propelled me to shore!  What do you mean 'what shark?'?

M:  There was no shark.  I was rinsing my goggles, and dropped them, next thing I knew you high tailed out of there.

me: What? seriously?

M-:  Seriously.  And you left me out there trying to get my goggles from the bottom of the ocean, like 20 feet down!  I have been going up and down, up and down, for the past 15 minutes!!

me: At least you didn't get eaten by that shark.

 

Self

I shared this today over at the Virginia Art Therapy Blog, and thought I would share it here as well.  Check out VATA if you'd like to learn more about the experiences of being an Art Therapist.

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Last month I had to create a self portrait in my painting course.  I was stumped.  Now we all know a self portrait doesn’t have to always involve a face (thank goodness, ‘cause that was NEVER going to happen).  While I was sitting at my kitchen table brainstorming my mind began to wander a bit.  I was thinking how much I was opposed to this project; who wants to see the self portrait of a fat girl? 

All of a sudden I snapped out of it and said, “I do!”  I want to see me; I want other people to see how I see myself.  I want to be honest about the fact that I LOVE ME.  There are things I want to change, there are ways I could be healthier, there are ways I could take better care of myself, but in general I love me the way I am.

I finally realized this assignment wasn’t necessarily about the physical, but more about being introspective and having that process come out on the canvas.  This was a hard realization.  I didn’t want to fail myself; I wanted to do something really honest, something raw, and something intimate.  I wanted to make something I would be really proud of. 

I did it.

 

SHE TURNED HER CANT'S INTO CANS AND DREAMS INTO PLANS

 

I created a painting I am proud of, I investigated painting techniques I had been afraid to try, I incorporated so much of myself at times it pained me; the pain of honesty, the pain of seeing the myths I tell myself.  I learned through this experience that I am enough.  I am lucky to have been given the chance to take this look at myself.

luuurve.

Can I tell ya something?

I am surrounded by wonderful people.

Oh, I'm sure there are some real schmoe's out there, but mostly really great, wonderfully kind, simply good people.  Even people I don't get to see on a daily basis, or yearly for that matter.

My friend Frances is one of those people.  Frances and I went to high school together and were thick as thieves during those years.  As time went by Frances went to college, I moved to New Mexico and various other places.  We would connect when we were in town visiting family at the same time.  Then more time went by, Frances began a life with the man she has loved since high shchool (how cute is that), and I floundered around for a while. 

Enter facebook.  We reconnected via facebook a few years ago, and have been able to keep in touch a little more regularly.  It is so nice to see her adventures on the farm  she lives on, from cow pasture humor, to tractor adventures, easter egg hunts to ceramic arts and the way she loves her family fully.  I do not know how that woman does what she does!  She said I inspired her, no way, she is the inspiring one.  Creative, smart, funny, strong, and kind.  Frances has a redneck husband, and a little redneck in training, who happens to be one of the cutest little guys with wild champagne hair I have ever seen.

The other day I recieved a package in the mail from Frances.  When I opened the lovely package I instantly started crying.  Not big ugly sobs, but tears of happiness.  Inside this box, was a delicately wrapped frog!  A flower frog.

My grandmother always had a frog at the bottom of a vase, and she ALWAYS had fresh cut flowers in the house.  Always.  After she passed away I got 2 of her frogs, and have made a small collection of them ever since.  I don't have fresh flowers as often as I would like to, although my husband does bring flowers home to me pretty often (thank you honey), but when I do I stick them in a frog.

At some point Frances and I had talked about a frog, I guess she remembered my love affair.  I filled it with flowers right away.

And put it on the windowsill above my kitchen sink, where I can see it all day, every day.

love.

 

Eleven Reasons I Am Thankful for 2011(in 3 parts) | part 3

Sorry, tomorrow (yesterday) became TODAY!

 

--EIGHT--

I am thankful for failing.

2011 was a tumultuous year.  I started volunteering at the local Rape Crisis center, I transferred to a four year university, I have given myself different responsibilities, I have made decisions that were hard, I have stood behind bad decisions I made, I fought physically and emotionally to be healthy and whole. 

I have failed.

But I have not given up. 

I have continued to take risks when I am unsure of a solution.  I have apologized for wrongs I inflicted.  I have begun to forgive myself for things I have done. 

Failing has shown me that there is so much more out there to look forward to; so much more to explore, learn, and dive into.  Failing has taught me to continue to listen to myself, believe in my instincts, trust my voice and speak OUT LOUD.  Failing has taught me to walk away when something doesn’t truly make me happy or isn’t satisfying, why waste the time? Failing has helped me see what matters the most and shown me my opportunities for growth. 

 

--NINE--

I am thankful for rest.

I’m talking about true and good sleep, restfulness, and comfort.  For years I struggled with waking nights, the inability to relax and fall asleep completely.  Waking every 35 minutes was a reality I trudged through on a daily basis.

Now I am able to embrace my old lady nightly routine, and actually sleep at night.  I am finally listening to my internal clock, the circadian cycle of my life.  I look forward to my crisp pillowcase each night excited about re-charging my batteries during the night hours.  I wake up able to momentarily meditate on the day, take a deep breath and begin the day (most of the time on the right side of the bed).

 

--TEN--

I am thankful for the opportunities I have.

This year doors seem to be opening for me.  I have been really lucky to be able to work toward my dreams, go to school, and have a nice job.  I have been given the gift of opportunity. 

The feeling of pride I have felt this year from setting goals, working toward them, and then seeing them come to fruition is amazingly rewarding.  I know that there are people all over the place that are struggling just to survive, and I get to pursue anything I can imagine.    

I am thankful for the freedom I have to be ME.

(weird angle, and skirt action, I look like a little person here!)

 

--ELEVEN--      

I am thankful for the believers, the stranger that smiles, the quiet angels around me, the listeners, peacemakers, and boat-rockers.  I am thankful for the people that bring simple joy to my life, a kind stranger, and those people that see the good in me even at my most flawed.  I am thankful for the people with broad minds that change things and stand up for others.

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Okay, as you can see from number 11, there are a hundred million things I am thankful for, I tried to cheat and put a bunch in one....I slipped a few others in earlier too, but I'm sure you don't mind, right?

you can find the other 7 reasons:

Part 1

Part 2

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I'm really looking forward to a great year this year,

I hope you are too!   

Good Luck, Love, and Fortune to you this year!

Eleven Reasons I Am Thankful for 2011(in 3 parts) | part 2

--THREE--

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful to have two wonderful parents that provided me with a wonderful home growing up, and one I can still go to as an adult.  The guidance they gave me, and continue to give, has helped me become the strong, independent woman I am today.  They have taught me to love, live, and be the best me possible.

I am thankful for my in-laws.  M-‘s family couldn’t be a better gang to marry into!  Funny, sincere, loving and supportive, they have helped me more than they will ever know, and I am happy to call them family.

I am thankful for my sisters, the super-mom, the “Keep Calm and Carry On”, and the Wolf-Bronte-kahlo-still-figuring it out.  They all drive me crazy and help keep me sane at the same time.  Each day they amuse, astonish, annoy, and I admire each of them.

I am thankful for my nieces, nephew, and a tiny one on the way.  The lessons they teach me abound.  When I am with them I am free, funny, silly, creative in ways I never knew existed, and able to see the forest for the trees.

I am thankful for my extended family.  A grandmother that loves and gives of herself so freely to me, encourages, spoils and cheers me on.  Great-Aunts, aunts, uncles, and cousins that share the love only a family like ours can share.  No matter how many months/years go by between visits, I’m still surrounded by love whenever they are around.

I am thankful for those people who aren’t family by blood, but by choice, by the love we share, the experiences that bring us together, and keep us a unit, no matter what.

 

--FOUR--

I am thankful for my friends.

Both old and new, without these people in my life… well my life would be boring, that’s for sure.  I am thankful for the listening, sharing, venting, space, and laughs.  I am thankful to have such a wonderful FAMILY of friends.

I have realized everyone I meet isn’t looking for the same kind of friendship I am.  I’m learning to accept that, be thankful for the time spent and the kind of friendships we do have.  Good friends are very hard to come by and I’ve learned that this is OK.

 

--FIVE--

I am thankful for my hands.

I am thankful my hands are skilled.  I work tirelessly at taking advantage of what I have.  They may not be the prettiest, MOST skilled, or perfect in any way shape or form, but they are mine.  With my hands I can do anything, paint, climb, lift, draw, hug, caress, pull, push, reach high, make, create, and even destroy.  I am thankful for these hands and the doors they will open in my future.

 

--SIX--

I am thankful for each new day.

Not too long ago a new day was a daunting task that I would have to overcome, or so I thought.  Yes, the sun shone, birds sang, and grass grew, but all I saw was grey.  I am thankful for a team of more than competent doctors, the magic of medicine and the belief that things can get better. 

I am thankful I am no longer ashamed of who I am, of what I have become, of who I am striving to be…ME.  I am thankful every morning I wake up. 

 

--SEVEN--

I am thankful to have plenty.

I am lucky to have plenty to eat, plenty to keep warm, and plenty to share.  Every time I am able to give something to someone else I am thankful I could. 

I am lucky to have a home with a roof and no leaks, heat that keeps me warm, electricity, hot water, and a well taken care of car. 

Sometimes I am so wrapped up in my easy life that I forget these aren’t things everyone has.  Not everyone goes to bed satiated.  Not everyone can afford that gallon of gas, gallon of milk or the heating fuel bill.

I am thankful that I have finally come to realize what is really important in my life, and am able to give so much more freely because of it. 

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--EIGHT-- thru --ELEVEN-- coming tomorrow

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UPDATE

Read part 1

Read part 3

Eleven Reasons I Am Thankful for 2011(in 3 parts) | part 1

--ONE--

I don’t think I’ve ever been more thankful for my husband than I have been this year.  We celebrated 4 years of marriage this past September.  I am so thankful not just because he is the most loving, supportive, generous, kind, and thoughtful man, not just because he’s a complete genius, and turns out to be kind of a handy-man type (not to mention a sexy beast), but because of the way he loves and accepts me.

Bossy me, weeping me, laughing me, inappropriate me, DUH! me, silly me, and all the other facets of ME!

The more time we spend together the more attached I get to him, which isn’t to say he’s perfect, obviously, he’s still human.  He still does, says, and thinks things that make me want to kick him in that sexy beast.  No vices, no bad habits; just a deep love for spicy food and a real audiophile. He always stays calm and collected and believes that shouting or blaming will never solve problems. 

So, I’m thankful that I have THIS partner in THIS LIFE. 

--TWO--

I am so thankful for my two pups. 

Xav, and the calm he brings to every day, so stoic, a protector, sometimes the clown, always zen puppy.  I love the scent from the top of his head, can’t capture the scent in words, it’s just…clean and refreshing and I soak it up every night before I drift off to sleep.

Mocha, the spastic, unruly, jumping, barking, limbs all flying akimbo at any moment, little brown dog.  She is a pain, a handful and simply a JOY.  Everything is exciting, new, and interesting.  Sometimes I wish I had a cornflake for a brain, just to have the enthusiasm about things she does.

So thankful for my dogs; these two fierce protectors, these doorbell barkers, trash truck warn-ers, UPS driver chasing, making grown men squeal like toddlers at first sight, bed warming, fur shedding, sirens in the night furbabies.

If not for these pups I would never sleep when M- is out of town, never get out of bed on days off, and never know the joy of going outside at 2:45am in freezing weather just to sniff around.

Xav and Mocha have become quite the team since losing Harper, a team I never knew could get along, snuggle, play, and romp together as beautifully as they now do.

I am thankful for the unconditional love we share, what I give to them is nothing compared to what I receive from these two.

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--THREE-- thru --SEVEN-- coming tomorrow

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UPDATE

Part 2

Part 3

 

How to Delight Me

1.    Light up when I walk in the room.

        Smile.

        Kiss me on the cheek.

        Giggle.

        Tell everyone my name is Aunt Fer-Fer with a straight face.

 

2.   Squeel when you see me.

        Smile.

        Kiss me a hundred times.

        Hug my neck tight and growl.

        Prance around in your red cowGIRL boots, like only a three year old can.

 

3.    Laugh

        giggle

        worm and squirm

        slobber all over the place

        throw things on the floor repeatedly, just to see how many times I will pick them up.  (2 times BTW, then they stay down.)

 

That was lunch today with my two nieces and nephew, delightful!

How to Annoy Me

Tell me about your dog that has broken out of his kennel three times in the past week.

Then, tell me he "ran off somewhere"

Then ask me what you should do.

After I suggest more exercise, making his kennel a den for him and not a jail, and possibly working with a trainer to give your dog some confidence, and you some training, stare at me blankly and say "But, how am I gonna keep him in the kennel?  He breaks out."

.

.

.

When I look back at you and AUDIBLY blink, because I'm so dumbfounded you said THAT, you say, "Maybe I should attach a choke chain to the side of the kennel so when he pulls it chokes him and he won't be able to break out and run away."

.

.

.

Next time don't act so surprised when I respond by saying "Maybe you shouldn't own a dog."

Meditating on Change

Lately I keep coming back to this.  make change.  make change.  make change.

What does that even mean to me?  What do I want it to mean to me?  How can I make change?  Can I make change. ?  Can one person make a difference?

These are the things I've been thinking about.  Now, I'm not talking change the world stuff, I'm thinking more along the lines of making a difference in someone's day, adding to my community in a creative way, or simply surprising and delighting someone.

Maybe those things do change the world.

School has been overwhelming, challenging, and ahhh-mazing at the same time.  My volunteer work is going well and I still love the agency.  Yet, something is missing.  I don't feel like I am well, making change.

I am going to work on this a bit and see how I can make change.

How do you make change. in your own little way?

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also! 

This is card number 24 of my inspirational quote cards for my goal of leave 100 art cards that inspire, from my Stupendous Life List. 

Remember** You are welcome to download and print out to leave for a stranger, friend, or anyone else you can think of.**

__________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Let's Roll

Sending good things in to universe today.

 

 

One Year Later

One year later and the pain is still fresh.

One year later and I still miss you.

One year later and the hole in my heart is no smaller.

But...

One year later I am able to remember the lessons I learned.

One year later I am practicing more patience.

One year later I am living more fully.

One year later I am not having any regrets.

One year later I am loving fully for as long as I am able.

And...

One year later I realize that loving the way I loved you is the only way to live.

jwmg2011

One year ago Harper died, a piece of my heart died that day too.  One year later as much as it hurts I can smile and be thankful for the time we shared.

How can one animal mean so much? Be such a vehicle of learning and a catalyst of self improvement? How does one animal make us laugh, cry, dream, and live more fully?  I can't answer these questions, I just know one animal did; Harper.

 

Wishing

Wishing I could squeeze these guys tonight!

Luuurve.

Can I tell you how much I

Seeing people smile?

 

Like,

A LOT.

 

Now I'm not just talking about the times I say something and someone smiles, or I meet with a friend and he/she greets me with a smile.  I am talking about any genuine, toothy grin on any 'ole stranger. 

A smile of joy.

A smile because they have an awesome secret.

A smile thinking about an old memory.

A smile they just can't help but share with you.

I. LOVE. THAT.

 

That's kind of what inspired my  leave 100 art cards that inspire, from my Stupendous Life List.

I hope the someone who finds each card smiles.

 

card 17/100

*you are free to print and distribute to friends, family, and strangers, but only to brighten their day!

 

 

 

How to Delight Me

Invite me (okay my class) to come to your studio

Share your time and the passion you have

Take us on a tour of a magical walk in the woods

Make us stop, think, and smile

Surprise us

Show us how you do it!

Thanks for a beautiful morning Dan!

 

 

Make sure you check Dan's work out, simply beautiful.

Dan Finnegan's Website

Dan Finnegan's Blog

LibertyTown Arts Workshop

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you haven't already, Check Dan's work out, simply beautiful.

Dan Finnegan's Website

Dan Finnegan's Blog

LibertyTown Arts Workshop

Right Now

:: healing past pains with the help of skilled professionals.

:: wondering how I made it this long without putting my hands in clay.

:: hearing my oldest puppy snore right next to me as he naps.

:: feeling grateful for the visiting cuban artist teaching my summer session right now.

:: holding my head high while I try new things and meet new people.

:: making a decision to try something new every day for a week.

:: remembering how far I have come!

:: marveling at the wealth of knowledge, time, and kindness shared with me recently.

:: smelling fresh laundry.

:: finishing comparing myself, my work, and my attitude with others.

:: hoping I can make a small difference every day.

:: preparing to be delighted and challenged at the same time.

:: relishing the love that surrounds me.

How to Annoy Me

Follow behind me at the store.

Every G-D aisle.

Every single one.

Shuffle your feet.

Drag your shoes.

Make as much noise as those flip flops will allow.

There is nothing wrong with your feet or legs.

Pick them up.

I'm surprised there aren't holes in the soles of those damn things.

I guess I just don't understand why people do that?! Why would you shuffle around like you have a broken leg. Wait! People with broken legs don't even shuffle, they have crutches, their feet come up off of the floor.

Is it attention, some sort of siren to let other people know you are in the area? We know.

Why walk around slumpy, slouchy and disaffected?

Stand up, walk silently.

I can't even tell you why this sound bothers me like it does. I love the shuffling rustling sound of leaves, tall dry grass, and even the low slapping of water on the shore. All I do know is I don't like when people eat with their mouth open, I don't like gum chompers, and I don't like foot shufflers.

 

Did You See

Me over here, at the I am more than just blog?

I completely forgot to share it!

Thanks for having me Megan! She is so creative, so generous, and fun!

You can also find Megan at:

blog: Brassy Apple

facebook: Brassy Apple on facebook

Twitter: @BrassyApple

 

 

3 Little People Came to Visit

& I learned a few things:

7 month olds DO fit and LOVE dog beds.

evidence--

3 year olds are super great at pronunciation

evidence-

I was repeatedly reminded that was an "Op.Po.Puss." on her arm.

4 year olds love to make noise, out and IN the CAR with their "Car.Monica" and I have no idea how to use my iphone as a video camera. Oh, 4 year old don't stand stil. EVAR.

 

 

Car.Monica playing from Crafty Dayeseye on Vimeo.

A Real Keeper Pt. 3

Read Part 1 here.

Read Part 2 here.

All caught up?  Great!

We finally reached the truck.  Stripped our socks and shoes, put clean, dry socks on, M- made the jacket I left in the truck into a pillow for me, put my hair behind my ear.  Next thing I knew I was asleep in the passenger seat.  He let me sleep the whole way home.

When I woke up we were pulling into my driveway, I looked at M- and knew he was a keeper.

The time we spent together was like a challenge, some sort of litmus test.  It was like we were put in a Petri dish with these elements we were unprepared for; this could have been really ugly.  I’m not always the easiest to get along with, especially when tired, hungry, and hot…not to mention slightly injured.  Somehow we had fun. We enjoyed our lost time, laughed at the steep climbs, took deep breaths together, and worked through the pain like teammates.

When put to a test like this a person’s real colors come through.  Mine…not so great all the time.  M-‘s steady, calm and thoughtful the whole time.  He is the Yang to my Yin.  Wait, did I just say that?  YES I DID, and I’m not gonna change it.  In this circle of life we are able to support each other and be supported by the other.

During my recent challenge to live a healthier life, lose weight, and be more active M- has been my biggest supporter.  Not in the “I love you more that you are lighter” way, but the “I love you no matter what, and think it’s awesome you feel so great now!” way. 

We recently tuned up our bikes and started taking awesome rides at different locations, local battlefields, rides around the local quarry along the river, and hitting the local canal path.  I’m finding through the bug bites, falling in creeks, branches in my face, and steep and/or rocky climbs and descents I feel closer and more in tune with M- and our loving relationship every push of the pedal, just because he is there, right next to me rooting US on.    

 

A Real Keeper Pt. 2

There were a few very steep climbs and I didn’t think that after being out there for nearly 5 hours already I would make it up one more.  M- was patient, reassuring, and never let on that he might want me to MOVE MY ASS faster.  He stopped so I could catch my breath, sip some water, tie my shoe, fix my hat, or whatever.  He talked to me and had a calming effect the whole time.  He never lost his wits, never got frustrated with me or the situation.  Confused and perplexed yes, but calm, cool, and forging ahead at all times. 

Around the 7 hour mark we saw a few tents in the distance…I think we both cheered a little bit--tents meant there were people--people meant someone could tell us where the HELL we were!

In the end we were able to walk back to the parking lot via the road.  At that point I was not entering the trails again.  I wanted a sure thing.  We had walked about 13 miles; we planned on 5.  Fail.  We were out for about 8.5 hours; we planned on 4.  Fail.  We planned on the weather being in the low 80’s; it was over 90 degrees.  Fail. 

I’m pretty sure I looked like a crazy person walking along the side of the road, drenched in sweat, slight twinge in my ankle made worse by pounding the pavement, legs covered in dirt, and bug bites.  M- just plugged along with me, hand in hand down the road toward the car.  He encouraged me the whole way.  I’m sure now he will tell you I was whining…I don’t remember, but knowing me…I probably was.

...just one more part coming!

Read pt. 1 here

A Real Keeper Pt. 1

You guys know I love my husband right?

Right. 

But I bet you don’t know about the day I knew he was a real keeper.

We met in January and during our first few months of dating we only saw each other a few times a month, I don’t even think once a week for a while.  He works a pretty regular schedule with stints of travelling, and I have always worked a crazy, never the same, always rotating schedule.

Sometime around May we decided to do a day hiking trip.  We planned to hike about 5 miles past Rose River falls and Dark Hollow Falls in Shenandoah National Park.

And like Roald Amundsen said “Adventure is just bad planning.” Our adventure began.

We packed a PB&J sandwich, an orange, 2 bottles of water, and a bottle of Gatorade each.  Just enough for lunch and a light walk on a nice day.

About an hour into the walk we were in a heavily tree covered area and it had rained the night before.  The ground was wet and some of the rocks were slippery.  I put my left foot on a rock to take a step down and slipped, twisted my ankle and fell on my ass.  It wasn’t anything awful, I was more embarrassed than anything.  M- made sure I was okay, helped me get comfortable and made me laugh while I sat there for a minute. 

After a while we got going again and started to notice how hot it was getting, even under the tree canopy.  We were sweaty, and thirsty, I drank from my water bottles freely.  It was well over 90 degrees.  Major water fail.

Somewhere along the way we made a wrong turn.  We probably walked 2 miles before we realized we weren’t where we were supposed to be.  We turned around and headed back to the trail split to take the correct turn…who knows what happened, but we ended up completely mixed up.  We trudged ahead, walked along using the compass to guide us to where we THOUGHT we were supposed to be.

...To be continued...

Right Now

I have been feeling a little stuck.  I'm unsticking gosh darn it!  To help I'm using a formula style post...Saw versions of it 'round the internetz and thought it might help me unstick.

I am also...

:: healing from my minor and I stress minor surgery and feeling well, with the help of wonderful people that surround me.

:: wondering exactly what my husband thinks of and how he handle my antics sometimes.

:: hearing January Wedding by the Avett Brothers on my iPod.

:: feeling grateful for all that I have, my family, my friends, my heart, and my hands.

:: holding onto the feeling of a hug from my husband while he is away all day.

:: making a decision to keep making good decisions. (that’s one right there!)

:: remembering I should have mailed a gift or two, but it will be so much better to give them in person!

:: marveling at the comfort my two pups find with each other since Harper left us.

:: smelling coconut and lime all around me.

:: finishing the organization of a project I’ve had on the brain for a while! (yay)

:: hoping I can stay true to myself as I wander the path ahead.

:: preparing a menu for the next two weeks, full of easy, healthy and always delicious meals.

:: relishing the place I stand right now.

 

Quote-a-riffic

This holiday weekend treat yourself.

card 6/100

This is the 6th card for my goal of leave 100 art cards that inspire, anonymously from my Stupendous Life List. 

You are welcome to download and print out to leave for a stranger, friend, or anyone else you can think of.

 

 

**********OH!  You can find my most recent post for the Virginia Art Therapy Association Blog on their site.  

 

Channeling Bettie Page

or maybe Carmen Miranda...depends on how you look at it!

 

My version

 

The Professionals:

Bettie Page

Carmen Miranda

 

******************************** 

Okay, stop the presses...huhhh.?  My friend B- Pointed out Betty Grabel!  How did I not think of her?

For reference:

Minus the sultry...totally channeling Betty Grabel!  Didn't even know it!

 

____________________________________________________________

 

Here is the picture that started all of this maddness!  Yes, I am obsessed with fascinators, especially from the royal wedding!  This was my favorite, fascinator and overall ensemble.

Miriam Clegg at the royal wedding (picture from I Smell A Hat)

_____________________________________________________________

What do you think?  Show me your favorite headwear!

 

Minus 41

Still going strong.

All you get is the face right now, gimme another 10 pounds before we talk about a full length!

My Stupendous Life List

From journal to blog--now up,running, and ever evolving! 

Check out my Stupendous Life List!

The Chance We Take

So last night M- and I watched a little tee-vee.  He turned on some weird show about this guy and his brother who run some kind of alligator farm.  Well, this guy was called by a local exotic animal rescue group.  They had a male lion that was sick and they needed help tranquilizing him.  The poor lion was lying on his side and just looked so pitiful and sick.  His eyelids were weak, his limbs akimbo, and his fur dull and dry.

He looked just like Harper the last time I saw him.

The weird thing is, when Harper was a just a little pup I used to think he looked like a lion cub, a little chubby, similar coloring, and his nose, looked just like a cub’s.  I tried really hard to just think of this lion as separate, not connected to me; but my mind wandered and I couldn’t get Harper out of my head. 

I cried.  Why does it still hurt so? 

To add insult to injury I have been thinking of my Aunt who passed away a year ago, I guess I’m kind of an emotional wreck right now.  I’ve been trying to hold it together, but this week has really been a challenge.

Lo and behold I was cleaning off a little cabinet in the living room and found a picture of Harper stuffed among a pile of books.  And as if that weren’t enough while cleaning off the top of the fridge I found ANOTHER picture of him!  At first I was taken aback, but then my heart started to warm.  Harper may be gone, but he will always be with me.

2010 was a year with too many good-byes. But for those of us with dogs, loving friends, and family, our hearts will be broken time and time again.    It’s a chance we take when we open our hearts to that which is outside ourselves. 

None of that would ever lead me to love dogs or people less.  It just makes me more passionate about the friends, family, and dogs I do have.

 

Quote-a-riffic

I love reading quotes from the past and present.

Quotes about love, sadness, happiness, art, hurt, wisdom, life's lessons, kids, friendship, well everything. 

Today I read one by author Ben Okri.  Love.

p.s. why am I obsessed with PINK! right now?

My Birthday Present to Tammi

I went to visit my other Dad today.

No, I really only have ONE DADDY, but my friend's dad has always treated me like his 3rd daughter...albeit the red-headed step-child, but still. He and his wife threw us the most amazing engagement party...you should have seen the FIREWORKS afterward!

Tom will always hold a special place in my heart.  He is retired, loud, obnoxious, excited or ticked-off about EVERYTHING, and always doing something new.  Well, I say something new, but most of his things revolve around Ham Radio, gardening, and computers. 

I went over today to pick up a computer monitor.  I ended up getting the FULL GUIDED TOUR of the grounds.  The new greenhouse, his hydroponic garden system, every plant in the greenhouse, where they came from, how they grow, the temperature system in the greenhouse, the system in place while the thermostat is broken, the path outside the greenhouse, the compost bin, and the worm farm.

Then we started to walk around his 3 arcres or so.  Where the tree line used to be, where it is now, where it will be in the future, the old Ham antenna, the new Ham antenna, The ebay Ham antenna, how the old antenna is going to hook into the new antenna and make it like 6 MILLION FEET TALL!  I even learned about the winching system on one of the antenna's.  Don't ask. 

On to the front yard where Tom helped me remember a bit of biology...plant identification, he's got White Oaks, Pin Oaks, Red Japanese Maples, Blue Firs from Christmases past, ( I remember when they were like Charlie Brown's Christmas tree and now they are HUGE!) and Japanese Cherry Trees, we also stumbled across roses, peonies, azaleas, and various other flowers.

I almost stepped on a SNAKE.

That ended the outside tour.

Tom and I went inside so he could show me the computer system that runs his Ham gear.  I have no idea how he figured it all out, with 3 computer screens, various large black boxes with dials, one keyboard, and a mouse he managed to talk to someone in South Africa, Macedonia, South Russia, and the U.K. all in like three minutes flat.  

I say talk, but really all that transpired between each party was their respective call names, how clear the signal was, and where they were from.  Then they thanked each other politely, and verified each other's "Ham Meeting" in some way shape or form.  He logged a bunch of jazz into the computer and was off on another call.

I am now the valedictorian of people who know a little bit about everything, and nothing in particular.

Anyways, this was a very, very loooooong post to tell you about a memory I had while I was visiting.  When I was like 13 Tom was going to a ham radio festival: Ham Fest.  T- (Tom's daughter) and I were invited to go along and sell water and sodas.  We were able to keep 50% of whatever we sold.

That sounded like an AMAZING! DEAL! for us.  Cute boys (or so Tom said), fun in the sun, and Cold Hard Cash!

Sound too good to be true? 

Well it was.

Boys, not cute--at least to my 13 year old mind, nerdy ham boys and their dads mostly, although I vaguely remember a few men in uniform...

That 'fun in the sun' part?  It was a record 114 degrees outside!  But!  That did make us the most popular spot, we had COLD water!

The cold hard cash part?  Multiply 200 cans of water and soda by .50cents and then subtract half, what do you get? 50 WHOLE DOLLARS--TO SPLIT AND SPEND HOWEVER WE WANTED! 

The day had been a success. 

I wonder where we spent our money?  Probably some 'Sassy' magazines and a can of coke.  We were rebels.

You Are Not Gone

One year ago my aunt died.

One year ago my family's heart broke.

Today, I have two words:  Fuck Cancer

You are not gone.

I may not recognize you right away

But then I feel warmth,

Look into a smile,

Sometimes I even hear laughter,

I know it is you.

 

You are not gone.

The joy you brought

Continues on,

It lifts me up and my heart sings,

Sometimes I even hear laughter,

I know it is you.

 

You are not gone.

In my thoughts and my dreams

Find your warmth,

See your smile,

I even hear your laugh,

I know it is you.

JWMG 2011

 

Edythe's cancer was a curse, but she would never tell you that.  She was brave, strong, and full of spunk, to her last days.

She never gave up her bad jokes. 

She never gave up her straight face when telling you "I never knew you couldn't sing!"

She never gave up making other people feel great.

Edythe never gave up.

LOVE.

Mother's Day Love!

No matter what kind of mother you are, today is for you. 

My mom and I had a hard relationship for many years...I think we are more alike than either of us likes to admit.  But, I wouldn't be the woman I am today without her.  Through good and bad all she ever wanted was for me to be me, to live the life I always dreamed of, and be happy; truly content and satisfied, but never settling for less than.  

She worked hard to provide great experiences for us when we younger, even if we resisted, she was usually right.  Even the sheepherding.

Yes, sheepherding.

I guess I was 12 or so and we were going on a family field trip, or "down the road a piece" as my parents would say.  My mom had planned the whole thing, picnic lunch, blankets to sit on, and a day filled with family fun.  I had other ideas.  I would have rather been at home riding my bike around the big lake, playing with friends, or doing ANYTHING but hanging out with my boring family!

We all hopped in the family wagon and made our way down the road to a farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere Virginia.  I sulked the entire time.  (Side note:  there is a farm not far from my house that I pass every so often that makes me think of this trip every time, it is exactly like I remember this place.) 

When we got to the event it was packed, dogs, sheep, ducks, geese, people!  I was intrigued, BUT NOT GIVING IN! (stubborn much?)  During some of the down time my mom suggested we tour the house on the grounds.  I whined, moaned, and complained, then decided for sure I was not going, I flat out refused.  I was left sitting on the picnic blanket alone.

While I was out there by myself I remember thinking how stupid this whole thing was, mumbling to myself, what I would do if I was in charge but then started to get distracted by a handler and his dog rounding up some big white ducks.  He was directing the dog with whistles and really short confusing commands.  I was confused, but the dogs were so serious, and focused on getting those ducks to do what their handler wanted.

I think I relaxed a bit after my family returned and finally put the walls down.  I was having a good time.  My mom thought we would have fun, and she was right, it just took a little longer for me to give into her plan.

I look back at many of the things we did as a family together and I'm glad my mom made me do them.  I've had experiences some people will never have, things they think are silly or not worthwhile, but really they could be the greatest memories just waiting to happen.

Thanks Mommy for making me DO STUFF I thought was 'stupid'.  I love you!

 

Funniest Thing I Heard Today

Watched Bride Wars for the umpteenth time.

I know, I know. You don't have to say it...I like it.

“Former chubby girls— we're made of steel. And Splenda. We survive!” 

Okay, not former---yet. 

But Splenda and Steel--yes!

How to Annoy Me

Pretend like you are tired of me taking pictures!

Why?  I only filled one 4GB card today!

Only Love

Last night is one of those times  where you will always remember where you were when you heard the news.  A historical moment.

While I am PROUD and immensly THANKFUL for the brave, silent, exceptionally skilled heros who did their job with amazing accuracy, I can't be 'excited' about the events.  Satisfied, a bit of closure even, but no party in the street for me.  Just a hope that we are prepared to remain steadfast, project positivity on everyone we meet, and work towards a brighter future for everyone...everywhere.

Idealist?  Maybe, but it can't hurt.

Minus 37

so far so good.

I Got a New Gig!

Exciting news!

As some of you know I went back to school in September of 2008.  I have been working hard and am transferring to UMW this summer.  I am studying Studio Art and plan to pursue a Master’s Degree in Art Therapy and Counseling.  On that note, I joined the American Art Therapy Association and the Virginia Art Therapy Association as a student.

Drum roll please…  I have been asked to be the Student blogger of the Virginia Art Therapy Association!  My first post can be found at the VATA website TODAY!! 

I look forward to sharing my personal experiences, being authentic, and open about my journey, struggles, joys, and even the minutia of a student’s life.  OH!  Also, keep an eye out for an interview or three with other Art Therapy Students from around the country, all in different stages of their education.

Finding the Space to Hear My Own Voice

The past two years, and especially the past eight months or so have been really life changing.

Dream affirming.

Profound.

Challenging.

I am in a place where I am actually able to hear myself. 

I'm not just listening to the messages everyone else/the media/friends/parents/teachers tell me, I'm listening to ME. 

Nothing feels better.

I'm able to be the person I always knew was inside, just dying to get out, but held down by the darkness that enveloped me for so long.  I'm learning how to shine my own light, how to lift the darkness. 

I am excited to hold on to who I am in the world.

Right now.

From now on.

 

How to Delight Me

Have me step on a scale.

Let me see the read-out say I have lost 33 pounds.

I couldn't tell you exactly where they are...but I can tell you where they AREN'T!!

Not on me.

That's about 2 pounds a week.

I'm finally beginning to see a difference...

I've been feeling it for a while.

Go me.

 
Delightful.

 

 

How to Delight Me

Today was delightful.

 

Sunny and breezy, 66.

Downtown walking.

Book reading.

Coffee drinking.

Friend meeting.

Knee slapping.

Soul searching.

 

 

That was all before noon.

 

This morning after work I met up with a friend. 

Well, I say friend, because the first time we met I instantly knew I liked her.

We’ve never gotten together before outside of large friend and family functions.

Finally we decided to meet for coffee.

I am so glad we did.

A new friend.

Really.

 

Sometimes someone is so kind, bright, and full of life it’s contagious. 

My friend is someone like that.

 

I hope one day I can be that person for someone else.

 _______________________________________________________________________________________
Artwork by the amazing Brian Andreas; artistic and storytelling genius of STORYPEOPLE

Once in a While

How amazing has the weather been in your little corner of the earth?  AHHHHHH-Mazing around here!  Yesterday on my drive home from my internship I cracked the windows, opened the sun-roof, and blasted the music like I used to do in highschool.  Singing, dancing in my seat, and all kinds of hand gestures with the music.  I'm a freak, I know, whatever.  I was loving every minute of it. 

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.” – Alan Keightley

I guess I'm pretty lucky because the only way I was ever told I should live my life is in a way that does no harm, and the way that makes me happy.  How are you living your life?

I hope you are making a little time on your calendar to see some of my art work at the Fredericksburg Fine Art Exhibt!  It will be up March 12th-20th.  I will be showing, and selling 4 pieces!

 
Have you wandered over to Art Every Day to see what I have been making lately?  Come on, drop on by.  While you're there let me know what you think about what I'm making... I ::heart:: constructive criticism.

How to Delight Me

My doctor told me I HAD to eat better.

I knew he was right.

I started following his STRICT instructions 25 days ago.

Fish and Shellfish, Butcher meats, Green Veggies (no starchy ones), blue and blackberries, cheese, olive oil, butter, spices.  All of that in any and all combinations. 

Water.  All.Of.The.Water.

I've never had so much water.

The first week and a half was hard.

I was cranky, jittery, and lethargic.

Then, I woke up on the 10th day and felt great.

I've never felt better.

Never.

Now on Tuesdays when I get on the scale not only is the number not the same it is going DOWN...and I feel great.

Delightful.