Last month I had to create a self portrait in my painting course. I was stumped. Now we all know a self portrait doesn’t have to always involve a face (thank goodness, ‘cause that was NEVER going to happen). While I was sitting at my kitchen table brainstorming my mind began to wander a bit. I was thinking how much I was opposed to this project; who wants to see the self portrait of a fat girl?
All of a sudden I snapped out of it and said, “I do!” I want to see me; I want other people to see how I see myself. I want to be honest about the fact that I LOVE ME. There are things I want to change, there are ways I could be healthier, there are ways I could take better care of myself, but in general I love me the way I am.
I finally realized this assignment wasn’t necessarily about the physical, but more about being introspective and having that process come out on the canvas. This was a hard realization. I didn’t want to fail myself; I wanted to do something really honest, something raw, and something intimate. I wanted to make something I would be really proud of.
I did it.
SHE TURNED HER CANT'S INTO CANS AND DREAMS INTO PLANS
I created a painting I am proud of, I investigated painting techniques I had been afraid to try, I incorporated so much of myself at times it pained me; the pain of honesty, the pain of seeing the myths I tell myself. I learned through this experience that I am enough. I am lucky to have been given the chance to take this look at myself.
As some of you know I went back to school in September of 2008. I have been working hard and am transferring to UMW this summer. I am studying Studio Art and plan to pursue a Master’s Degree in Art Therapy and Counseling. On that note, I joined the American Art Therapy Association and the Virginia Art Therapy Association as a student.
I look forward to sharing my personal experiences, being authentic, and open about my journey, struggles, joys, and even the minutia of a student’s life. OH! Also, keep an eye out for an interview or three with other Art Therapy Students from around the country, all in different stages of their education.