So last night M- and I watched a little tee-vee. He turned on some weird show about this guy and his brother who run some kind of alligator farm. Well, this guy was called by a local exotic animal rescue group. They had a male lion that was sick and they needed help tranquilizing him. The poor lion was lying on his side and just looked so pitiful and sick. His eyelids were weak, his limbs akimbo, and his fur dull and dry.
He looked just like Harper the last time I saw him.
The weird thing is, when Harper was a just a little pup I used to think he looked like a lion cub, a little chubby, similar coloring, and his nose, looked just like a cub’s. I tried really hard to just think of this lion as separate, not connected to me; but my mind wandered and I couldn’t get Harper out of my head.
I cried. Why does it still hurt so?
To add insult to injury I have been thinking of my Aunt who passed away a year ago, I guess I’m kind of an emotional wreck right now. I’ve been trying to hold it together, but this week has really been a challenge.
Lo and behold I was cleaning off a little cabinet in the living room and found a picture of Harper stuffed among a pile of books. And as if that weren’t enough while cleaning off the top of the fridge I found ANOTHER picture of him! At first I was taken aback, but then my heart started to warm. Harper may be gone, but he will always be with me.
2010 was a year with too many good-byes. But for those of us with dogs, loving friends, and family, our hearts will be broken time and time again. It’s a chance we take when we open our hearts to that which is outside ourselves.
None of that would ever lead me to love dogs or people less. It just makes me more passionate about the friends, family, and dogs I do have.
