Starting over hasn't been easy, but it's essential. I finally realized the things in my life that needed to change, and that I had control over most of them. I asked myself what good can I be to anyone else if I'm not taking care of myself? I can only control my four walls, and how I react to things outside those walls. That's the decision I made that day. Take care of me, no matter what. Now realize, we are talking mentally, there are plenty of physical ways that I could be taking care of myself better, and those will come in time. For now, sanity. Later, buns of steel.
During my intense therapy I really started to hone in my creativity, something I had put on the back burner. This was one of the best things I could have done. Painting, sketching, taking photographs, and other endeavors have really been cathartic experiences for me.
Next thing I know, I've enrolled in 2 classes for the upcoming semester at the local community college. It's so weird, I don't remember hemming and hawing, just that I sat down, browsed the catalog and picked two classes. Drawing and Principals of Psychology. Done and Done.
I wish I could say everything was honky-dory from then on out, but come on, this is real-life. School was great, and hard, and great, and really, really hard! It took a great deal for me to make it to a 3 hour drawing class after a 14 hour day at work twice a week, it was a struggle to read hundreds of psych. articles and pages of cases, learn new lingo, and once again learn to and socialize with the other students I was in class with/am in class with.
I navigated fairly well that first semester, juggling 60+hour a week work week, classes, and home. I thank my lucky stars my husband is supportive and generous, not once has he complained that the house is a wreck, that I don't spend enough time with him or that I'm not pulling my weight in this family/house/universe.
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Okay, time for some math homework and a chat with the MN side of the family. OHHHHHH MINNNNEEEESOOOOOTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
