Self

I shared this today over at the Virginia Art Therapy Blog, and thought I would share it here as well. Check out VATA if you'd like to learn more about the experiences of being an Art Therapist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last month I had to create a self portrait in my painting course. I was stumped. Now we all know a self portrait doesn’t have to always involve a face (thank goodness, ‘cause that was NEVER going to happen). While I was sitting at my kitchen table brainstorming my mind began to wander a bit. I was thinking how much I was opposed to this project; who wants to see the self portrait of a fat girl?

All of a sudden I snapped out of it and said, “I do!” I want to see me; I want other people to see how I see myself. I want to be honest about the fact that I LOVE ME. There are things I want to change, there are ways I could be healthier, there are ways I could take better care of myself, but in general I love me the way I am.

I finally realized this assignment wasn’t necessarily about the physical, but more about being introspective and having that process come out on the canvas. This was a hard realization. I didn’t want to fail myself; I wanted to do something really honest, something raw, and something intimate. I wanted to make something I would be really proud of.

I did it.

SHE TURNED HER CANT'S INTO CANS AND DREAMS INTO PLANS

I created a painting I am proud of, I investigated painting techniques I had been afraid to try, I incorporated so much of myself at times it pained me; the pain of honesty, the pain of seeing the myths I tell myself. I learned through this experience that I am enough. I am lucky to have been given the chance to take this look at myself.

in art, art therapy, love me, me. in other places, self portrait, vata | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

luuurve.

Can I tell ya something?

I am surrounded by wonderful people.

Oh, I'm sure there are some real schmoe's out there, but mostly really great, wonderfully kind, simply good people. Even people I don't get to see on a daily basis, or yearly for that matter.

My friend Frances is one of those people. Frances and I went to high school together and were thick as thieves during those years. As time went by Frances went to college, I moved to New Mexico and various other places. We would connect when we were in town visiting family at the same time. Then more time went by, Frances began a life with the man she has loved since high shchool (how cute is that), and I floundered around for a while.

Enter facebook. We reconnected via facebook a few years ago, and have been able to keep in touch a little more regularly. It is so nice to see her adventures on the farm she lives on, from cow pasture humor, to tractor adventures, easter egg hunts to ceramic arts and the way she loves her family fully. I do not know how that woman does what she does! She said I inspired her, no way, she is the inspiring one. Creative, smart, funny, strong, and kind. Frances has a redneck husband, and a little redneck in training, who happens to be one of the cutest little guys with wild champagne hair I have ever seen.

The other day I recieved a package in the mail from Frances. When I opened the lovely package I instantly started crying. Not big ugly sobs, but tears of happiness. Inside this box, was a delicately wrapped frog! A flower frog.

My grandmother always had a frog at the bottom of a vase, and she ALWAYS had fresh cut flowers in the house. Always. After she passed away I got 2 of her frogs, and have made a small collection of them ever since. I don't have fresh flowers as often as I would like to, although my husband does bring flowers home to me pretty often (thank you honey), but when I do I stick them in a frog.

At some point Frances and I had talked about a frog, I guess she remembered my love affair. I filled it with flowers right away.

And put it on the windowsill above my kitchen sink, where I can see it all day, every day.

love.

in Friends, love me, luuurve. | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

How to delight me | 4th Blogiversary

To celebrate? A couple of my favorite posts from the past!

What a difference a few years makes, my voice as it is in real life really comes through soooo much better now! When I read entries now, I can actually tell it is ME who wrote them, me who is speaking. Not uncomfortable, nervous, unsure me, but really...ME.

"This is how I feel today"

A Day at Yellowstone National Park

"Celebrate"

Rally to restore sanity and/or fear '10

My Birthday Present to Tammi

How to Delight Me

The Chance We Take

Right Now

Eleven Reasons I am Thankful

in Current Affairs, How to delight me, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Misc. Thoughts 2012 Style

What's up you say?

I am in the middle of a guest bathroom facelift. It began as an experiment because I want to paint our kitchen cabinets and wanted to see how easy (read>>HARD) it would be. It is taking a little longer than usual, but only b/c I'm a lazy beeaaach. You can see my inspiration/vision for the fininshed guest bathroom room here on Pinterest. It's on y'all. and I'm doing everything for no more than $200! Wish me luck!

Here is the before:

I promise to show you the after...whenever I get to the after!!

P.S. My husband INSISTS the bear stays. wha? I might have to drop some paint on him. Any ideas of how this bear could come to an untimely (in M-'s mind) demise?

My classes started last week and I realized I have this semester, 2 classes this summer, then ONE CLASS in the fall, and I'm a college graduate. Then I can work on graduate school. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel! This semester will consist of some painting, art history, and 2 leadership classes, one on personal leadership and theory, and the other on organizational leadership. Should be a pretty good semester!

I have fallen off the wagon, the sugarless wagon, that is. In a big way. I knew I had been ignoring the instructions given to me, and gained X (more than 1, & less than 100) pounds back, but it really hit me when I woke up with headaches Tuesday til today, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT! every night, I'm talking like 1:30a. So today, water only (w/ a little crystal light lemonade) and a return to sugarless eating over the coming week.

Check out a few of my last posts over at the RCASA blog!
RCASA hello my name is...
RCASA Pop Quiz
RCASA anti-rape PSA

in Current Affairs, me. in other places, rcasa | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Easy Anthropologie Inspired Wall Art | DIY & Free

Yes, you read that correctly, EASY and FREE!

Before: I had this painting of a fish hanging in the Living room. I liked it just fine, but it wasn't 'doing' it for me lately. I have been giving most of the rooms in the house a facelift and thought this would be an easy change-- one that woulod make a big impact.

Sometimes I just want to look at something new.

Except for my husband, I never tire looking at that stone cold fox. ever.

Okay, back on task.

Before:

So I connected to the internetz, and hooked myself up with some Anthropologie Wall Paper samples. I love tons of things at Anthro, but DO NOT love the prices. (I was dreaming of covering something in $1000.00 worth of wallpaper, and then smacked myself and remembered I had books and supplies to buy for this upcoming semester.) I figured I'd just look at, feel, smell, and caress the samples when they came in.

When they actually arrived I decided to MAKE something out of them.

I opened the package...

Trimmed off the information backing each approx. 4X6 sample...

Grabbed an old tri-fold display board (the frame I filled is 24X36, and the center of a trifold is 24X36, I thought I could just use posterboard but that stuff is ALL 22X28, what is that???) and cut off the 'wings'.

Played with the arrangement a bit...

And when I finally decided on an arrangement I put the samples in a neat stack (so they would stay in order) and used double sided tape to attach the samples to the board...

and...Voila!

Looks so cute, doesn't it?

You could totally do this in any size, with any like size objects, upcycle post cards, paint chips, recipe cards, receipts (that would look really cool, in black and white) book pages--- you name it. Fill a frame and have fun!

_______________________________________________

Update--I linked up here:

in art, tutorial-ish, upcycle | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Eleven Reasons I Am Thankful for 2011(in 3 parts) | part 3

Sorry, tomorrow (yesterday) became TODAY!

--EIGHT--

I am thankful for failing.

2011 was a tumultuous year. I started volunteering at the local Rape Crisis center, I transferred to a four year university, I have given myself different responsibilities, I have made decisions that were hard, I have stood behind bad decisions I made, I fought physically and emotionally to be healthy and whole.

I have failed.

But I have not given up.

I have continued to take risks when I am unsure of a solution. I have apologized for wrongs I inflicted. I have begun to forgive myself for things I have done.

Failing has shown me that there is so much more out there to look forward to; so much more to explore, learn, and dive into. Failing has taught me to continue to listen to myself, believe in my instincts, trust my voice and speak OUT LOUD. Failing has taught me to walk away when something doesn’t truly make me happy or isn’t satisfying, why waste the time? Failing has helped me see what matters the most and shown me my opportunities for growth.

--NINE--

I am thankful for rest.

I’m talking about true and good sleep, restfulness, and comfort. For years I struggled with waking nights, the inability to relax and fall asleep completely. Waking every 35 minutes was a reality I trudged through on a daily basis.

Now I am able to embrace my old lady nightly routine, and actually sleep at night. I am finally listening to my internal clock, the circadian cycle of my life. I look forward to my crisp pillowcase each night excited about re-charging my batteries during the night hours. I wake up able to momentarily meditate on the day, take a deep breath and begin the day (most of the time on the right side of the bed).

--TEN--

I am thankful for the opportunities I have.

This year doors seem to be opening for me. I have been really lucky to be able to work toward my dreams, go to school, and have a nice job. I have been given the gift of opportunity.

The feeling of pride I have felt this year from setting goals, working toward them, and then seeing them come to fruition is amazingly rewarding. I know that there are people all over the place that are struggling just to survive, and I get to pursue anything I can imagine.

I am thankful for the freedom I have to be ME.

(weird angle, and skirt action, I look like a little person here!)

--ELEVEN--

I am thankful for the believers, the stranger that smiles, the quiet angels around me, the listeners, peacemakers, and boat-rockers. I am thankful for the people that bring simple joy to my life, a kind stranger, and those people that see the good in me even at my most flawed. I am thankful for the people with broad minds that change things and stand up for others.

________________________________________________________________________

Okay, as you can see from number 11, there are a hundred million things I am thankful for, I tried to cheat and put a bunch in one....I slipped a few others in earlier too, but I'm sure you don't mind, right?

you can find the other 7 reasons:

Part 1

Part 2

_______________________________________________________________

I'm really looking forward to a great year this year,

I hope you are too!

Good Luck, Love, and Fortune to you this year!

in 100 inspiration cards, art, art show, love me, Quote-a-riffic, school, thankful | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Eleven Reasons I Am Thankful for 2011(in 3 parts) | part 2

--THREE--

I am thankful for my family.

I am thankful to have two wonderful parents that provided me with a wonderful home growing up, and one I can still go to as an adult. The guidance they gave me, and continue to give, has helped me become the strong, independent woman I am today. They have taught me to love, live, and be the best me possible.

I am thankful for my in-laws. M-‘s family couldn’t be a better gang to marry into! Funny, sincere, loving and supportive, they have helped me more than they will ever know, and I am happy to call them family.

I am thankful for my sisters, the super-mom, the “Keep Calm and Carry On”, and the Wolf-Bronte-kahlo-still-figuring it out. They all drive me crazy and help keep me sane at the same time. Each day they amuse, astonish, annoy, and I admire each of them.

I am thankful for my nieces, nephew, and a tiny one on the way. The lessons they teach me abound. When I am with them I am free, funny, silly, creative in ways I never knew existed, and able to see the forest for the trees.

I am thankful for my extended family. A grandmother that loves and gives of herself so freely to me, encourages, spoils and cheers me on. Great-Aunts, aunts, uncles, and cousins that share the love only a family like ours can share. No matter how many months/years go by between visits, I’m still surrounded by love whenever they are around.

I am thankful for those people who aren’t family by blood, but by choice, by the love we share, the experiences that bring us together, and keep us a unit, no matter what.

--FOUR--

I am thankful for my friends.

Both old and new, without these people in my life… well my life would be boring, that’s for sure. I am thankful for the listening, sharing, venting, space, and laughs. I am thankful to have such a wonderful FAMILY of friends.

I have realized everyone I meet isn’t looking for the same kind of friendship I am. I’m learning to accept that, be thankful for the time spent and the kind of friendships we do have. Good friends are very hard to come by and I’ve learned that this is OK.

--FIVE--

I am thankful for my hands.

I am thankful my hands are skilled. I work tirelessly at taking advantage of what I have. They may not be the prettiest, MOST skilled, or perfect in any way shape or form, but they are mine. With my hands I can do anything, paint, climb, lift, draw, hug, caress, pull, push, reach high, make, create, and even destroy. I am thankful for these hands and the doors they will open in my future.

--SIX--

I am thankful for each new day.

Not too long ago a new day was a daunting task that I would have to overcome, or so I thought. Yes, the sun shone, birds sang, and grass grew, but all I saw was grey. I am thankful for a team of more than competent doctors, the magic of medicine and the belief that things can get better.

I am thankful I am no longer ashamed of who I am, of what I have become, of who I am striving to be…ME. I am thankful every morning I wake up.

--SEVEN--

I am thankful to have plenty.

I am lucky to have plenty to eat, plenty to keep warm, and plenty to share. Every time I am able to give something to someone else I am thankful I could.

I am lucky to have a home with a roof and no leaks, heat that keeps me warm, electricity, hot water, and a well taken care of car.

Sometimes I am so wrapped up in my easy life that I forget these aren’t things everyone has. Not everyone goes to bed satiated. Not everyone can afford that gallon of gas, gallon of milk or the heating fuel bill.

I am thankful that I have finally come to realize what is really important in my life, and am able to give so much more freely because of it.

________________________________________________________________________

--EIGHT-- thru --ELEVEN-- coming tomorrow

________________________________________________________________________

UPDATE

Read part 1

Read part 3

in family, love me, Right Now, thankful | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Eleven Reasons I Am Thankful for 2011(in 3 parts) | part 1

--ONE--

I don’t think I’ve ever been more thankful for my husband than I have been this year. We celebrated 4 years of marriage this past September. I am so thankful not just because he is the most loving, supportive, generous, kind, and thoughtful man, not just because he’s a complete genius, and turns out to be kind of a handy-man type (not to mention a sexy beast), but because of the way he loves and accepts me.

Bossy me, weeping me, laughing me, inappropriate me, DUH! me, silly me, and all the other facets of ME!

The more time we spend together the more attached I get to him, which isn’t to say he’s perfect, obviously, he’s still human. He still does, says, and thinks things that make me want to kick him in that sexy beast. No vices, no bad habits; just a deep love for spicy food and a real audiophile. He always stays calm and collected and believes that shouting or blaming will never solve problems.

So, I’m thankful that I have THIS partner in THIS LIFE.

--TWO--

I am so thankful for my two pups.

Xav, and the calm he brings to every day, so stoic, a protector, sometimes the clown, always zen puppy. I love the scent from the top of his head, can’t capture the scent in words, it’s just…clean and refreshing and I soak it up every night before I drift off to sleep.

Mocha, the spastic, unruly, jumping, barking, limbs all flying akimbo at any moment, little brown dog. She is a pain, a handful and simply a JOY. Everything is exciting, new, and interesting. Sometimes I wish I had a cornflake for a brain, just to have the enthusiasm about things she does.

So thankful for my dogs; these two fierce protectors, these doorbell barkers, trash truck warn-ers, UPS driver chasing, making grown men squeal like toddlers at first sight, bed warming, fur shedding, sirens in the night furbabies.

If not for these pups I would never sleep when M- is out of town, never get out of bed on days off, and never know the joy of going outside at 2:45am in freezing weather just to sniff around.

Xav and Mocha have become quite the team since losing Harper, a team I never knew could get along, snuggle, play, and romp together as beautifully as they now do.

I am thankful for the unconditional love we share, what I give to them is nothing compared to what I receive from these two.

___________________________________________________________________

--THREE-- thru --SEVEN-- coming tomorrow

____________________________________________________________________

UPDATE

Part 2

Part 3

in Dogs, family, love me, thankful | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

How to Delight Me

1. Light up when I walk in the room.

Smile.

Kiss me on the cheek.

Giggle.

Tell everyone my name is Aunt Fer-Fer with a straight face.

2. Squeel when you see me.

Smile.

Kiss me a hundred times.

Hug my neck tight and growl.

Prance around in your red cowGIRL boots, like only a three year old can.

3. Laugh

giggle

worm and squirm

slobber all over the place

throw things on the floor repeatedly, just to see how many times I will pick them up. (2 times BTW, then they stay down.)

That was lunch today with my two nieces and nephew, delightful!

in family, How to delight me, love me | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

How to Annoy Me

Tell me about your dog that has broken out of his kennel three times in the past week.

Then, tell me he "ran off somewhere"

Then ask me what you should do.

After I suggest more exercise, making his kennel a den for him and not a jail, and possibly working with a trainer to give your dog some confidence, and you some training, stare at me blankly and say "But, how am I gonna keep him in the kennel? He breaks out."

When I look back at you and AUDIBLY blink, because I'm so dumbfounded you said THAT, you say, "Maybe I should attach a choke chain to the side of the kennel so when he pulls it chokes him and he won't be able to break out and run away."

Next time don't act so surprised when I respond by saying "Maybe you shouldn't own a dog."

in Dogs, How to annoy me, love me | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

make change.

Check it out right here!

--> make change. blog!

Share how you make change!

in make change., me. in other places, Right Now, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Meditating on Change

Lately I keep coming back to this. make change. make change. make change.

What does that even mean to me? What do I want it to mean to me? How can I make change? Can I make change. ? Can one person make a difference?

These are the things I've been thinking about. Now, I'm not talking change the world stuff, I'm thinking more along the lines of making a difference in someone's day, adding to my community in a creative way, or simply surprising and delighting someone.

Maybe those things do change the world.

School has been overwhelming, challenging, and ahhh-mazing at the same time. My volunteer work is going well and I still love the agency. Yet, something is missing. I don't feel like I am well, making change.

I am going to work on this a bit and see how I can make change.

How do you make change. in your own little way?

__________________________________________________________________________

also!

This is card number 24 of my inspirational quote cards for my goal of leave 100 art cards that inspire, from my Stupendous Life List.

Remember** You are welcome to download and print out to leave for a stranger, friend, or anyone else you can think of.**

__________________________________________________________________________

in 100 inspiration cards, love me, make change., rcasa, Right Now, school, Stupendous Life List, wishing | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Let's Roll

Sending good things in to universe today.

in art, love me, Right Now, wishing | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Swiss Roll Cakes Cake | Don't try this at home

Or, if your husband is anything like mine, DO try this at home.

M- doesn't love cake, no he wouldn't pass it up if someone handed him a slice. He just seems to gravitate to the pudding, key lime, and silk pies of the world, pies and snack cakes. Snack-cakes = M's FAVORITE. Terrible yes, but whatever, he's pretty healthy even if he and Little Debbie do have a personal relationship.

For his birthday the other day I decided to not drive myself nuts worrying that the cake I made was moist enough, or cool enough to frost in time to serve. I decided to take some of his favorite foods and make a cake. CAKE is stretching it a bit, you'll see.

Warning: Not for the faint of heart,

or any cake purists out there.

These are the three main ingredients, Pudding, Swiss Rolls and Whipped Cream. (It only gets worse)

Mix almost equal parts pudding and whipped cream

This going to be the 'glue' that holds the rolls together.

Put a heaping tablespoon of your glue on your plate. Begin arranging the rolls on the plate in circular fashion. This way, after it is frosted it will look like a little round cake.

Continue to glue your pieces together until it is the size you want, I added one more row around the outside. Wipe your plate clean and put in the freezer for about 15 minutes. When it comes out frost with whatever you want, I used the leftover pudding mixture, some actual frosting and a bit of whipped cream and chocolate jimmies.